I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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