Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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