If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Operation Purity has been aborted
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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