Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
