They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...