too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
