ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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