I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
