I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
