do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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