I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
