I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
