I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
