I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
