Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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