there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
