I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
