My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
last night I used snow as a chaser
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
