Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
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