haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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