porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
