My entire life is one complicated drinking game
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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