i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
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