I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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