When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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