Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
