Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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