I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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