I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
