chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
