You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
