thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize