So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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