I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
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why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
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How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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