Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
