yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
