I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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