Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
