yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Do vagina's smell?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
We just shotgunned beers for America
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
