Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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