this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
