nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
