Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
