Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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