Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
