Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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