that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
