that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
