I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
