I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
