I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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