So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
