He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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