you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I need help removing her.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
