I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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