how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
not ubering you a puppy
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
