u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
