Already got asked if we're dating
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
