yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
