I want to have your abortion
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Someone shattered a urinal.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
