so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
